Simply put, the goal has to be to become the conqueror of oneself. Be decisive to the point where you can autocratically rule over each of your competing internal drives and impulses. And please note, we each contain a space within where the adjectives "autocratic" and "wise" will happily exist side by side.
Democracy is a fine system of government to live under (in its best adaptations), but be careful breathing it in; its fumes can be harmful to the soul. God help you if your internal self-talk is an infighting Congress, a pompous Parliament of varied, competing interests. To find yourself means to discover an unelected leader worth following to the ends of the Earth within you. One that knows how to fully consider in the proper time of consideration but voices no straggling questions once the time of answers has commenced.