Not escaping from prison, escaping from the trial. Not a jogger, but a cut and runner. Like a chase scene in some action movie, seeking to stay one step ahead of feedback - of assessment. Only completed can you be defeated - what you do not see through to the end can only fail at your own hands. And the feel-good truth is: self-assessment is the key to self-esteem. Monopolize the judgments aimed in your direction. And again, you pull your works from the shelves. Self-censorship - and then advertise yourself (to yourself) as a writer of banned books! Work in progress? Oh, doesn’t that sound like the height of progress! Once finished, it gets tossed aside. What has been done is a rejected testament, what is being done - is a fly by holy guide to live by. What is it? Well, you see, it cannot be revealed until it has been rejected. Eventually, what once took the internal (and rabidly introspective) stage can be safely discharged into the world. Expressed (finally fully) as a means of expelling it. After a run of years, the play is finished and now public. Let it wander the deserts of notoriety - it’ll get along well enough given that it survived for a time in the veritably Saharan lands of self-consciousness. See, here, the cacti planted and planted. Thorns out already knowing they’ll get no more water from their creators.
See here above, I am describing a question, and the heart of it is: have you ever lived this way?